online therapy

How to renew yourself – Be bold

Its been a while since I wrote something like this.

When you hit a “Plato” kind of state it usually requires more effort to get past it, some give up, some go on.

As this site is about “turning the page” aka improving yourself I had to put this here even though I didn’t feel like it.

And Since I was 3 years in this Hell I thought Id be fitting.

Let’s move on…

Why should I renew myself?

Do you spend all of your time on your job or people that don’t contribute to your or their well-being?

Are you still in relationship with someone who you can’t stand, but cry and despair when they “want” to leave?

Did you get into a project with the best intentions just to get out of it bitter, disappointed or vengeful because someone you trusted made you look like a complete fool?

I recall an old African proverb that says:

“If there is no enemy within the enemy outside can do us no harm.”

Sometimes It just happens that it’s that our options are limited and sometimes the stories we tell ourselves.

Someone can be blind to things that can be so clear to you.

And if someone is going through a hardship, breakup, loss of a job, friend and family member they may need different treatment.

The question alone is the answer, the real question would be “What fruits or weeds Am I growing?”

Or what I like more “Which wolf am I feeding?”

Where do I begin?

After the damage is done what are the options?

If you are grieving sites such as Better-Help, TalkSpace and are one of the options.

Because your bodily health, your energy levels depend also on your inner well-being.

If you’re sick and tired of your current situation, relationship or whatever the case may be

I can guarantee you won’t work out or take care of yourself at all if the words, the insults get too deep.

When developing a persona it not just the surrounding people who affect you it’s your surroundings as well,

and basically what intent, emotion or memory you tie to it.

If you want your energy back you need to go back within and there are people and resources available.

Recovery, renewal goes from the inside-out, your perspective aka mindset is like a root to the tree,

It is the operating system for the computer, and we can leverage it

for example with meta cognitive tools such as the “5 second rule” who can disrupt your current thought pattern so you can do what you have to .

As I get it the idea is to cultivate a habit or a “switch” whenever you need to do something important and you recognize that your thoughts may be talking you outta it, you push the “switch” and engage in the action.

Frankly I felt like a moron the first few times doing it so instead I put on some power metal IE “Sabaton” and while the behavioral pattern is disrupted I got enough momentum for the needed action.

You get the idea.

Maintain the Vision

That midnight snack, that last beer may give momentary pleasure when your day was terrible.

But it’s not just that, the same can be said for almost anything,

I know what it’s like to have a BAD DAY and you don’t want anything to do with it or anything related to it.

When you want to drown that memory that moment by any means at hand or when you can’t you just want to ease the pressure.

You look in a 100 directions instead of the one you need, when it gets so bad you can’t think of anything anymore just on that moment…

So you block all the doors even the ones that hold the solution

It doesn’t have to be like that.

“Where there is no vision the people perish”

King Solomon

Most years I had just the feeling that each time something good is about to happen

something would just pull the carpet from under my feet. I stopped when Ive should’ve kept going.

There was no goal, no vision nothing to move forward to.

At one point or other in life something happens that disrupts the previous patterns in your life,

even if you fix the disaster and go back you’re not really the same as before.

You can be afraid sometimes to move towards the new.

Even resentful to it while staying in your own world.

Maybe you are clinging to what’s left of it because you lack the power to restore it to the way it was.

Whatever it may be, sticking to one thing at a time is just that.

No flash, no easy glory, just a (sometimes aka mostly boring) chore.

Do you want it?

With or without the help?

After the resources have been given to you, after the training, after the blessings it ultimately comes down to you.

It would be preferable if you have the things needed to do the necessary, that you’re self-reliant.

If you aren’t in maintaining your vision, maybe you need a simple push

Or to be re-educated on your beliefs and patterns but

at the end as far as I´ve seen it comes down to you.

Again sites like can provide help and support you need if you have a busy life.

Before I forget, “Atomic Habits” by James Clear gives you clarity and a road map on how habits function and how to make new ones.

Ultimately it’s about character how you grow it, nurture it and the surrounding soil.

Stop looking for quick-fixes, For issues that have been bothering you in the long run, you need long term solutions.

At the end of the tunnel

Maybe you’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel just by looking back.

Or there won’t be any I don’t know.

As in writing this I’m traveling through a tunnel as well.

There might or might not be an end It doesn’t matter, not anymore.

Certain things will happen if you decide to take the path least waked and decide to stay on it.

Yes you may need help, you may need companionship, a partner, someone who’s been to where you want to go.

But your choices will determine if you will be given new opportunities or burning them down.

Before I go, think about this.

A guy stranded on a deserted island,all alone and lost everything with no hope of rescue.

Spends his days catching fish and drinking fermented berries while gazing up the stars.

Did he give up or pushed back on life?

The answer? He fought back.

Because after he lost everything he still had the choice to lay down and grieve or to get up and face a new day.

People come and go as the sea by the shore, what you have it can break, what you posses it can take.

What It cants take, what is yours,is your choice.

Actually I heard something like this from “Dragon Age: Inquisition” ,

but it’s a valuable lesson as well,reminded me of a book from Victor Frankl but ill talk about it in another article.

See ya

Life can be stranger than fiction, and is in my case.

Hope you liked this article, If you agree or disagree with anything share your thoughts in the comments section.

If you want to contact me directly or have any questions or stories you want me to cover feel free to shot me a message.

Also YT Chanel will be ready soon.

Till next time.

16 thoughts on “How to renew yourself – Be bold”

  1. SeunJeremiah says:

    Thanks for this this motivational post, most times i don’t always get what I want and this makes me question my existence or purpose in life but after reading this post, I understand self renewal is the attention you give towards ensuring that your life is forward-moving, with every step bringing you closer to who you really are.  It entails stripping away the old and stale, so that you become increasingly aware of the purity of your true essence. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Dario Kalizan says:

      Glad to help out mate. And I wish you all the best on your journey.Have a good day

  2. Tracy says:

    Getting out of the comfort zone of being stagnant and becoming someone better than what we once were is more of a daunting task to take on and if one is not well prepared for it, it is very easy to give up after just a few days into it. I must say that this article of yours is insightful and challenging at the same time. I’m glad I read this and I have seen the need to renew the courage in me and go for something much better than what I am now. Thanks

    1. Dario Kalizan says:

      You’re welcome. Yes, it is a difficult task but a necessary one as well. I’m glad it helps and cheers to your success.

  3. John says:

    Wow, I really did enjoy your post. It is truly inspiring. With this, one can think about the future, revamp the vision and Renee oneself. Everyone faces one problem or the other in life. It’s how we deal with it and how we step up that matters. I like how you have made use of proverbs and instances from the Bible. Thanks a bunch for this.

    1. Dario Kalizan says:

      Anytime. What are your biggest challenges so far?

  4. Mattias says:

    I’ve been caught in the midst of quitting my job and opting to become an entrepreneu. It has been really much of a battle and I must say, I have reached the plateau. I really appreciate this article a lot because it has come just at the right time that I need it. Getting to go against what we are and what we want to be is a battle that we must conquer to go higher. This is a great post and one that I found to be of very much help to me.

    1. Dario Kalizan says:

      I’m glad it helped. It’s cool you want to become an entrepreneur if that is what you truly want.

      As for the plateau as I get it the mind or body probably adjusted to certain factors that maybe there cause of stress.

      My solution, more stress, however, I would counsel with someone first. Wish you all the best

  5. Dr. Baker says:

    Very interesting and deep article. I actually read it a couple of times and each time saw something in it that I hadn’t the time before. I completely agree that when pushing through something you definitely MUST work on your inner-self first AND that there are so many things that people turn to in order to mask pain, etc. when that inner-self is what you must turn to and focus on. Thank you for this post. I look forward to reading more from you.

    1. Dario Kalizan says:

      Multiple times? I’m surprised and glad you found this article to be helpful. I was a bit hesitant at first but after reading a post like this it just drives me to do more. Thank you again and ill continue to help in any way i can

  6. Chloe says:

    I totally agree with what you have said in this post. Looking at how life treats us, we are pushed to the dust, down casted, cheated on. But then that is not where life ends. We have to brace up and face the situation we are faced in. Defeat only comes when you accept it. I an impressed with what you have said here, with this I believe anyone who reads through would see a reason to continue with a stronger mind. 

    1. Dario Kalizan says:

      Thank you. Did anything in particular caught your eye in this article or do you mean the article as a whole?

  7. Willy says:

    This is a really great review. I love when reviews are straight, insightful and thoughtful. Many times people under estimate the power of insightful and inspiring words like this for we humans to take decisions concerning our life’s and this is why I appreciate this great review. Self development has always been the only way I bring up my vibes and be better in all I do because you can only make yourself better by working towards what you want. Thanks for this motivating and helpful post.

    1. Dario Kalizan says:

      You’re welcome. I’m glad to see such an optimistic post as well.

      I’ll continue to do my best here. What part did you like the most?

  8. Henderson says:


    agree with you, we really need long term solution to problems. I also am a person who look for quick fixes. I don’t calm down. I have been in relationships where I find it so hard to let everything go. It’s good that you can recommend books and sites that can help. I will definitely try one of those out and see how I can be helped. Thank you.

    1. Dario Kalizan says:

      Thank you for the feedback. I’ll put out more sites shortly and I’m available as well should you have any questions, concerns or require advice. I’ll be back on it as well in a short time stay tuned.

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