Give yourself a chance

Goalseeker

Life can bring you down.

Chase you off where you don´t want to go.

Put you in bondage to people and event´s that may or may not have happened.

…or may never happen.

But,

Regardless off what you think or believe there is more for you.

Beware of the depths

Here I´m reffering to our inner depths.

You, me, we all have them.

The struggles, experiences, heart rob´s and heartbreaks are of of many factor of the equation in which we are the result.

The past has left us with a number of habits, belief´s and skill´s that may or may not be to our benefit.

We may not even be aware of them.

If confronted with them we may often dismiss them because of our beliefs.

If you believe you are not good enough you won´t be.

If you believe you´re useless you will be. the world is in your hands

The Bible says, As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.

Is it because of what people or events have done to you?

Or what you have been telling yourself that has been done unto you?

No matter who or what confronts you with the reality of the situation.

You may lash out on them,

Degrade, belittle or render them useless.

Be it your family, friends or someone you look up to.

And the fact that we have this little mechanism called ego integrated within our system

doesn´t make it easier.

I´m not demonizing it.

What I am saying if it goes out of control It WILL cause you only more problems.

This goes for beliefs and basically all of our internal “systems”.

For example,

If there is an imbalance in your body it will show in your health.

The same goes for your mental health.

OCD,depression,anxiety,panic attacks…

These kinds of behaviors may lay dormant for years with us not even be aware of it.

These kinds of moments and event will eventually repeat themselves

Some things are unavoidable.

The good thing?

No human behavior is set in stone.

If you don´t believe me, that´s ok, it will change with time.

Just ask yourself are the thoughts you think right now yours or did you pick them up along the way?

Mirror

You probably heard of the late Jim Rohn and one of his famous quotes,

“You are in average the 5 people you surround yourself on a daily basis”?

There is a scientific fact to this called Mirror neurons

Meaning? enigma

A Mirror neuron is a neuron that activates both when a one acts and when the one observes the same action performed by another.

So the neuron reflects or “mirror´s” the behavior of the other, as though the observer were acting itself .

They have been observed in animals as well as humans.

Meaning that we reflect our surroundings or precisely said other people.

If you are long enough around them you will basically adopt some same behavioral patterns.

Just look at your daily life and see it for yourself

Lets say If one of your family members was a smoker, drinker, abuser or whatever the case may be there´s a chance that you may become one as well.

But let me say it again It IS NOT set in stone.

Even if you recognize such behaviors in yourself there are solutions to it.

Barriers

Now if you have recognized such behaviors in yourself,good job, but its not over yet.

It is one thing to recognize such behaviors, another one is overcoming them.

Have you ever tried to get better at your job, diet or in your relationships but continuously kept failing at it?

Do you suffer from depression, panic attacks, bad habits or limiting beliefs that “set your skies gray”?

Are you taking more and more prescription pills to get through the day?

Why?

There is a term for this called the “Terror barrier”.

You can also find more information on it at the Proctor Gallagher institute.

The thing is since our brains are designed to “keep us safe” and if you try to move beyond that point,

From that which is familiar, even when that is your own inner prison where you spent most of your time at,

The mind will put up walls to try to keep you from getting to the unfamiliar, “from getting hurt”.

Now that most of our fear´s and habit´s we are TAUGHT.

shackled

The thought taught you´re not good enough, that you´ll never be someone or achieve anithing,

or the fear of taking risks, of standing up for yourself, of “not to rattle the boat”…

I didn´t believe it myself a year ago but I was proven wrong.

And while some behaviors can come from the body as well since it is connected to the mind and can be affected by some medication.

And I´m not trying to say here that all medication is bad, they have their good and bad parts as well.

If they are prescribed by someone who knows what he is doing.

Just note that they are here to merely ASSIST you in getting better not solve all your problems.

It is not a substitute for therapy, or better said the right therapy for you, but it can help to a point.

Let´s move on…

Into the process

Note that change doesn’t come from quick fix

If you think that a quick fix will give you a long-lasting result

that’s like buying the mustard seed and expecting you have the processed and done sauce in a glass tube the same second in your hands.

No.

As Rome wasn´t built in a day it didn´t fall in one day either.

Falling apart is a process and so is progress.

And it is proven again and again to be true and possible.

Is there a one for all miracle drug for every problem?

Nope unless you count excuses.

A good life is made from a lot of small decisions that compound over time.

Decisions on a yearly, monthly,daily even hourly basis.

No new action, belief, habit or mindset comes naturally until it is repeated so often it becomes a part of you.

Just as any ill-state of body and mind is grown over time the same goes for other beliefs as well.

Saying NO, discipline to get things done, the courage, the confidence lies outside of your current mindset.

It seemed surreal to me as well, even ridiculous, but there is a point where everyone comes where enough is enough.

There was not one but many small moments that helped me make the change.

Many experiences that slowly linked to one another and regardless good or bad these experiences are the ones that make you.

In the end it is you that has to make the steps and as you pass the first barrier there may come other´s .

They may become tougher but so will you if you keep going.

As for the end looking the lives I saw even my own,

from where I was to where I am now, I know and importantly believe that something better is possible.

Your life is a gift, make a wish

And you deserve to give yourself a chance.

Conclusion

Hope you liked my post. It´s been on my mind for a long time only now I decided to speak up.

There is more to it than this but it would be far too long.

Comment bellow your thoughts and do tell me what you think.

Till next time Dario K.

10 Commentsto Give yourself a chance

  1. Aabidah Ahmed says:

    I absolutely love your way of words. You are using really great content. 

    I can notice that all those were deep in your thoughts wanting to come out. It’s like your mind just exploded into a million words.

    You had a lot of great things to say and I’m glad you got to let it out.

    All the best to you.

    • Dario Kalizan says:

      Thanks Abidah. I didn´t know what to expect when i started writing this.

      But there are things everyone needs to say otherwise they will pull you down.

      Thanks again for the great feedback i appreciate it.

  2. Gomer says:

    Okay, I wanna change, for the better and this article has taught me new words to ponder. I got reminded again of the late Jim Rohn who first inspired me to bring out the best in me and aim for a life full of freedom. For years, I aimed at becoming financially successful but then setbacks after setbacks came in. Two decades have passed and I’m still here struggling. Back to the ball game, I really need to change. Maybe I will go back again to examining my habits and re-evaluating the decisions I have made.

    • Dario Kalizan says:

      That is a must.The days can be stressfull Gomer no matter who you are or where you are. Jim Rohn was one of my inspirations as well and what i also learned is the importance of self-reflection.

      Asking questions such as “Are these my thoughts/beliefs or somebody elses?” will help you regain focus and clarity on your current situation. Thats the easy part, the hard part is accepting the answer no matter how hard it hits.

      There are things we all have to face if we want a better tommorow.

  3. Paul says:

    Hi Dario, intersting topic and something that I think about often.  You see I have a background in Government and a few years ago was fired from the very high paying management position.  It really got me down and I struggled for a while. Everyone else was to blame and whilst I certianly didn;t recieve help from those that I counted on, I soon realised that the only person at fault was me.

    The project I was on was rife with self protectionism and ensureing that if anything went wrong that it was couldn’t come back to you.  This was exaserbated by an executive that punished mistakes rather than allowing us to learn from them.  Once you are around those poeple all of the time, you are right in what you say that you start to act just like them.

    These mirror behaviours then definitely progressed to those terror barriers that you discuss above.  I was so afraid to get anything done, refursed to take risks and definitely did not want to rattle the boat in fear of not only getting in trouble, but ridicule from my ‘mirrors’ that I really didn’t do anything.  And once that come to the surface, I wasn’t as good at the self protectionism as others and down I went.

    Had I have read something like this at that time, I may have been able to see what I was doing and concnetrate on doing a good job, rather than playing politics and protecting myself.

    Thanks so much for the post

    Paul

    • Dario Kalizan says:

      I can relate.I as well learned about this the hard way as well. Once i hit rock bottom (or so it seemed) and just left my position things started to shift one day at a time. I wish you all the best mate, for a better tomorow.

  4. Rowan says:

    This warmed me up, I was so frustrated with completely nonsensical wordpress crap I was ready to start destroying things… I ride waves of depression and anger, sometimes I spiral and get so down I actually feel dead inside. I highly agree with you on how one can take on personalities and traits from the others around them.

    I have had to crack down on that lately as I noticed part of my random bursts of anger and frustration came from knowing that I am not acting normal, not acting like myself but instead of those around me. It’s amazing how our bodies can be trying to tell us something but we for some reason cannot always hear it.

     I’ll take this as a sign that I need to change my food plan, I remember doing my water fast how clear and stable I felt. I want that feeling of steadiness and drive to be better again. Thank you for such wise and thoughtful words.

    • Dario Kalizan says:

      Glad to help Rowan. Just remember to take some time of now and then for yourself.And if you can leave or at least limit your time to certain people.You can see how much one values you by theit actions

  5. Zikora says:

    This is an interesting post. Sometimes we are so hard on our selves we never give ourselves a chance. There is several things that you say here that are helpful, im glad you spoke up. How true that small moments make the change. All experience makes us but i also believe the way we relate with those expereinces,especially the bad ones makes a difference. very thought provoking and encouraging.

    • Dario Kalizan says:

      Thanks for the comment. You’re right, a good part of our experience lies within our perspective. And when it comes to it, there is more than meets the eye at first.

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