Month: July 2019
12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos – a short review
Name: 12 rules for life-an antidote to chaos
Author: Jordan B. Peterson
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd.
(Audiobook) read by author
Where to buy:Amazon.com
Formats:
Audible-FREE in trial month
Kindle 8,07€
Book Bundle 12,79€
Paperback 9,99€
Audio-CD 19,45€
All links provided in the description.
About the author
Jordan B. Peterson born in June in 1962 is a Canadian psychologist and a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto.
In Canada, he supposedly criticized the legislation for the use of transgender pronouns.
Some even called him a “transphobe” and he has some social justice warriors chasing him like a village mob chasing Frankenstein’s monster.
Yet after that, he went viral and he inspired millions with his enthusiasm and a quite unique look on life.
The book
12 rules for life – an antidote to chaos
I´ll try to keep it spoiler-free to the best of my ability and draw out a few notes to help you “paint” a clearer picture.
The book is divided into 12 rules each with a rich story.
Rule 1
On a neural level, it will change how people see you.
Youll get treated better, have better chances with finding a partner, increasing your serotonin level and you will be less likely to fall into the pit of substance abuse, getting cancer, heart disease, etc.
Rule 2
What I got here was that you determine your values and the direction you are heading so that you treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping. Hard?Yes. But having a vague idea, having a part of the plan in your head is better than none.
Rule 3
Check out who you hang out with. Are they pushing you to become better?
Do they make you smile and want the best for you?
If not then reconsider hanging out with them, as stated in the New Testament, by Jim Rohn and many others you become who you hang around with.
Rule 4
We are unique on one and multiple levels.
And what I got here is not to compare yourself with others but with who you were yesterday.
Let’s say you are in the gym and you don’t see progress by constantly looking at others but by looking at yourself.
Rule 5
This rule is about parenting skills.
Rule 6
Here the author suggests before we criticize the world that we should stop doing the things we know are wrong.
Rule 7
I liked this one, pursue meaning, not pleasure.
Peterson is opposed to being expedient.
He came to this conclusion by a longer analysis of Nietzsche, Dostojevski, the Bible and many more.
If there is no meaning to your life you can make one.
Rule 8
Be honest, cause dishonesty will always come back to you in one way or the other.
Rule 9
Here it’s about truly listening to others assuming they know something you don’t.
Don’t let yourself get in the way of attaining what can be vital information that can benefit you.
Rule 10
Be precise in your speech.
Let’s say that something is bothering you and you don’t go and speak to your doctor because of the fear of what it “might be”.
If you don’t know what it is you’ll assume the worst while in reality, it may be nothing at all.
Express it or it will come out as something far worse.
Rule 11
Let me say it like this.
At a young age, boys test the limits of their bikes, cars, skateboards as well as their own abilities as drivers, how much they can stay in control in a chaotic situation.
When they push against teachers, parents or any authority figure they push to see if there is any true authority that can be relied on in case of a catastrophe.
Weakness didn’t expel them from the classroom it was the strength.
Rule 12
Simple moments like petting a cat on the street may come from time to time if we pay attention.
Why? Its moments like that give both sides a smile, make a day brighter and give you a break from the everyday absurdity.
If you are interested in audiobooks you may consider subscribing to Audible. You may do so via the link bellow
If you want to sign up CLICK HERE.
Walking above your shadows
Who you were who you are and who you’re going to be are three different personas.
And one thing everyone has to master if he wants to move on in life is to rise above his/her past self which is embedded in his subconscious aka his/her shadow.
Therefore, the name walk above your shadow.
Feeding the wolf
It´s scary to look within, it´s difficult to embrace what shadows have been lurking on the inside for far too long and it´s necessary.
As in the old native American story about the two wolves, one is dark one is light,
Which one wins at the end the one your feed.
Which wolf are you feeding? Which one is growing and which one is starving?
Or let me put it like this
what behavior, what thoughts, what unwelcome guests are you continually letting in?
Is your kid with the wrong crowd? Is your better half disrespecting or ignoring yours?
Do you have to fight for their attention all the time?
Are you doing your best at avoiding confrontations, not wanting to rattle the boat?
First, this is not some motivational hype speech, your don,t need motivation.
From my perspective its the same as nitro in a racing game, and with that nitro, you can either use it as an advantage or waste it by flying off the tracks or ramming a wall.
Now and then perhaps, but not all the time, otherwise you may use it as an escape mechanism aka an excuse.
The word here is consistency, and feeding the wolf means one thing and that is feeding, nurturing and growing a one or multiple behavioral habits, skills, etc.
Are you constantly beating yourself over a loss or a disappointment?
Or are you doing something each day ie. learning a new language, perfecting your communication or attitude?
Of the two examples above who do you think will be at the higher ground after a year, after 365 days?
Who will benefit more after a month or just a week?
Feeding the wolf is making a choice, but that alone is not enough.
Intention matters as well…
Intensions or pretensions
Intensions are the root, the cornerstone and the backbone in your actions, decisions, and plans.
Basically your character.
They are in everything we do and sometimes we are not even aware of them.
Or in some cases do not want to be aware, Regardless of understanding them may give one more resolution to deal with a certain issue, plan, jobs even relationships.
The newer word for them might be YOUR WHY.
We could do the same work right now but get different results because of them.
Let us say a guy whos been friends with a girl for a while suddenly has an emotional outburst confessing his undying love or something like that what we can see in tons of teen movies, and in the movies that nice guy gets the girl in the end.
In real life, that is not the case.
And it is not a good way to go. Let`s say the typical nice guy operates from a state of fear, of not being enough, low self-esteem, etc.
And then when he meets someone he likes he may take the “friend” approach because of fear of getting rejected.
What is the intention here? Well one of them may be to have her stay, not because of love but because of fear of being alone, of own insecurities, etc.
This “Nice guy Syndrome” goes both ways and Dr. Robert Glover goes into more detail about this in his book “No more Mr.Nice guy”.On the definition and the solution to it.
Another example would be the resentment the office worker faces when treated poorly by his peers.
Where on one hand he needs the job, has children to take care of and is willing to put up with everything just to make sure the little ones get something to eat and a chance for a better education, for a better life.
On the other hand, imagine the same situation just this time the worker is focused more on himself than on the child.
He/she works for stuff he/she doesn’t need for people who don’t like him/her because the selfish intentions are a priority, not the kid.
So we can see what kind of person was dealing with just by observing them.
As stated in Matthew 7:16 King James Version (KJV)
“Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns or figs of thistles?”
and in Matthew 7:18
” A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.”
Guard your attention
Humans are more complex than plants of course.
We can choose however what our “fruits” will be, where attention goes
energy also flows.
Maybe you have heard that your thoughts from your actions which form your habits and your habits will form your destiny.
What starts in the thought process with consistency and repetition WILL come true just as a seed becomes a tree.
Here attention comes in play. One of the most primary resources alongside time.
If misleading it can cost you dearly. Hanging out with a few “buddies” who just want a drink, two, ten or a favor from your while giving nothing in return, Consulting or comforting someone who you’re interested in when they had a fight with their lover and will eventually return to them, supporting a business partner who offers the same empty promises for months.
You could be sitting next to a pot of gold but you wouldn´t see it because you’re focused on your empty wallet.
This can be explained through the Reticular Activating System or RAS for short.
It is a bunch of nerves in our brain that filters unnecessary information so that the important ones come through.
It is why you hear your favorite song through a crowd of people when you really want a car and then start noticing it everywhere when you miss someone with all your heart and start seeing them everywhere.
Depending on your perspective aka beliefs RAS seeks out the information to validate them.
And as the subconscious RAS can be trained by “setting your intent” as some people call it, which is basically linking your subconscious thoughts to the conscious ones.
And as such, it can be viewed as a tool for growth.
If you care about love and kindness you will start seeing more of it because that is in your belief system and RAS has no other choice but to comply.
For this, it is vital to whom or what we give our attention, our time to. As I mentioned in the last post the more you hang around a depressed or deceitful person you will subconsciously form the same behavior they have.
Into the light
By “light” here I am talking about truth aka facing your current condition as it is. Something is better left alone, some people need to be let go and some paths are better not to be walked on.
What “shadows” or what flaws you may have a need to be addressed in the first place and then with or without support one has to go that mile.
In order to get rid off the disease, you need to acknowledge it not run from it.
No hacks or simple solutions are of much use if the ground is soiled with chemicals so will the fruit be.
It will still look good on the outside but the inside will be infested.
To cleanse it first you must cleanse the ground from which it grows.
To get rid of the issue in your business, in your relationship or in your friendships you have to acknowledge it, accept that it is there and if it is stuck for some reason learn to walk with it. Eventually, it will go away and something else will take its place, quit and it will be even harder to remove.
It’s an hourly, daily, monthly even yearly walk but it is one you have to and only you can make.
Last thoughts
This one has been on my mind for a while and honestly, a part of me didn’t want to say it but I have my reasons for doing so.
Character is a slow-grow process but it’s a rewarding one too. And I can’t say it out of the woods myself yet now I know I’m walking towards someplace better.
Well, this turned out to be longer than expected but I hope you liked it.
If you have any thoughts on the article please share them below.
Till next time
AFFILIATE DISCLOSURE
In 2015, the Federal Trade Commission released their new rules for Disclosure Compliance. These rules are set in place to ensure that readers or viewers of web media (blogs, Youtube videos, etc.) know if the blogger/presenter is sponsored, endorsed, or partnered with a different company. In blog terms, the readers need to know if the blogger is making money by sharing a link or product.
In compliance with the FTC guidelines, please assume the following about links and posts on this site: Any/all of the links YOURWEBSITE.com are affiliate links of which I receive a small compensation from sales of certain items.
What are affiliate links?
Purchases are made on external affiliate company websites: When a reader clicks on an affiliate link located on .com to purchase an item, the reader buys the item from the seller directly (not from YOURWEBSITE.com). Amazon and/or other companies pay YOURWEBSITE.com a small commission or other compensation for promoting their website or products through their affiliate program.
Prices are exactly the same for you if your purchase is through an affiliate link or a non-affiliate link. You will not pay more by clicking through to the link.
I use two main types of affiliate programs:
1. Amazon affiliate links.
YOURWEBSITE.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon properties including, but not limited to, amazon.com. Amazon offers a small commission on products sold through their affiliate links.
If a blogger links to an Amazon product (with a special code for affiliates embedded in the link), and a reader places an item in their “shopping cart” through that link within 24 hours of clicking the link, the blogger gets a small percentage of the sale. Amazon links are not “pay per click.” If you click on the product link and stay around Amazon and purchase something else, however, I will get commission on that sale.
Anytime you see a link that looks like astore.com/… or amazon.com… it can be assumed that it is an Amazon affiliate link.
2. Product affiliate links.
These affiliate links work the same way: if you click the link and buy the product, then the blogger gets a percentage of the sale or some other type of compensation. Things like e-book bundles, e-courses, and online packages are usually affiliate links, as well. Again, prices are not different if you use these affiliate links. You will not pay more by clicking through to the link. These links are not “pay per click”, unless otherwise denoted.
What about sponsored content?
I do not write sponsored posts. I want to bring you real, unbiased information. However, if a post is sponsored by a company and it is a paid sponsorship, I will disclose this clearly in the beginning of the post.
Morality or Cowardice -Where is the line?
Hey , let me start out with a simple question.
Are you a nice person?
Whatever your answer maybe you may want to rethink it.
What is morality?
Morality derived from the Latin word “moralis” which means something like character, manner or proper behavior.
It is the differentiation of decisions, intentions and deeds (aka actions )between those that are distinguished between proper and improper ones.
Morality can mean a set of standards, rules and responsibilities,basically a way of life.
From a region, culture and religion it can be derived as a standard, a way of living or “the right path”.
It is often tied to “goodness” and “rightness”. That one thing which tells “right” from “wrong”.
In the old stories the authors glorified it to nowadays basically too high levels.
Who wouldn´t want to be a “good guy” in his own story?
One example is the statement of Christ about the “Golden rule” found in the New Testament, which says:
“One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself.”
In itself morality isn’t bad.
It does however get a bad rep cause of certain people.
Nietzsche commented on this as well.
Something like most moralist´s are cowards.
What does this mean? That every person that has morals is a coward? NO.
It is because “cowards” disguise their cowardice with the “mask” of morality, a LIE.
We all have these traits yet they are more developed in some people more than others.
It depends on the core of a person, their true intentions.
Before into the actions of others we must also not forget to look into our own…
Facing the truth
Cowardice can be seen as the lack of courage, saying no when you mean yes and vice versa, not doing the things you have to do, running away from responsibility, commitment…and the truth.
No one wants to be described as a coward. It reduces your social status among st peers and elders, as well among friends, family, business partners, your better half…
Not only does one shrink in others eyes to the point of nothingness in extreme cases.
It leaves a person vulnerable, weak-willed, resentful, bitter, spiteful or worse.
Unless broken this fear based cycle is a never ending source of suffering.
It´s fear running wild in one´s life , spreading like a wildfire and drowning like a flood.
If not addressed and treated properly it progresses like cancer to a point where recovery seems impossible.
Such a person tends to flee from a challenge, to cheat, lie and sabotage themselves as well as others.
Another issue is the stories they tell themselves, the person they pretend to be.
The mask they put on every day which is just a copping mechanism to relieve the constant building pressure because no one want´s to feel like this.
No one.
Not everyone in such state can help themselves as well,sometimes a “hand out” is OK, but not if they keep coming back asking for more each time while their condition worsens. If you do so you´re “inviting” that same fear into your house, into your soul.
There are more factors to consider of course but in the end the one that is treated needs to do something from their side as well.
Note that this is not written to point fingers at anyone .
It is written to address a problem.
Maybe you know someone who displays such behavior or you may suspect a similar behavior in yourself.
The remedy to all that ARE willing to turn the page is the truth and everything that comes with it.
Is it painful? Yes, but so are operations and recoveries of patients in critical stages.
There´s no way around it, no quick fixes, no “skipping the steps”.
Just know that accepting your truth, your reality doesn´t mean settling down with it.
It IS NOT set in stone therefore there is always something to look forward to.
It will hurt but regret and resentment, the “fruits” of fear will hurt even more.
Apply integrity
So how to escape from this mindset?
Well I haven´t found a way out but a way through.
As stated in Matthew 7:13 that we should enter the narrow gate.
For wide and easy is the way that leads to destruction.
This is true in life.
Countless examples still show it today.
Consistency is key here, the more often you do something the better you become at it, be it good or bad.
What kind of life you have is also determined by the things you do or don’t do on a consistent basis.
Integrity aka saying what you mean and meaning what you say or Biblical speaking
“Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ Anything more comes from the evil one.
Matthew 5:37″
The definition is simple but applying it can be hard for some more than others.
For example, saying yes to that one more drink when you want to quit,
saying no to your spouse or loved one when you have an addiction or health problem and they wish to help,
saying yes to that party when your child is sick at home and you honestly just wanna stay and take care it.
These are only some examples of the lack of integrity and courage.
Often we know what we should do on some level but we talk ourselves out of it.
So the key to change is truth.
You gotta be honest with yourself and the surrounding ones.
You gotta be honest about the things you need to give up and the people you need to let go.
Integrity ,in short does not come from a place of fear or weakness,
but of strength.
It’s when your no means no, and your yes means yes.
When you know what you value and you´re willing and able to defend it at all cost.
It doesn´t mean your harmless or weak either but we´ll discuss that in the next post.
Go all the way
Again, you have to see life as a marathon, a campaign.
A daily, weekly, monthly, yearly ongoing march.
As in nature when something stop growing or developing it starts dying.
Be it a community, marriage or any kind of vow you make, know that it is in consistency that lies the answer.
The moment you start to get sloppy or lazy on your path that’s when you start planting the seeds of mediocrity.
Last thoughts
Thats it from me. Hoped you liked this post.
If you have any thoughts or opinions on this article please leave your comments below.
PS
If somebody has saw his- or herself here and is thinking this is a “waste of time” or “what BS”.
I understand, for I was is a similar position as well, just sick of motivational
and positive nonsense but even sicker from staying in the same miserable mind, job and life.
When you come to a point of “enough is enough” you´ll understand this better.
Till next time.
