Turn the page today

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Blindside – Pay attention

You probably didn´t see this one coming did you?

Just kidding, welcome and without further delay lets dive into the topic.

The blind side?

In rugby, it refers to the side of the field and the nearest touchline.

It also refers to the side of a persons vision, IE the peripheral vision, where the vision is dangerously limited or non present.

It can be opposite of where you’re looking at, where you are unaware of approaching objects or worse.

The place where you are vulnerable and where you are likely to get sucker punched.

From warfare to sports, business and even relationships

there’s a spot that we sometimes leave unprotected to surprises, and not all surprises are pleasant.

Especially when you’re focused something that you really like

IE that promotion, your spouse saying he/she loves you, you’re business is booming and maybe you think you’re the top dog

in your field of expertise.

“What could possibly go wrong? I’ve got this.”

If you think like this then we have a problem.

Let’s move on.

Expect the unexpected

In rugby, it is a term for the side of the offensive line that the quarterback is facing away from while he is in the pocket.

The right-handed quarterbacks blindside is protected by the left tackle.

A lot of effort is put to keep the quarterback’s blind side safe due to the high risk of a turnover on a hit from the blind side since the quarterback cannot see the impact coming.

Teams will often put their best offensive man on the blind side to decrease the pressure put on the quarterback.

We cannot pay attention to all the details.

We can do only so much from our side and I am not telling that we are helpless or otherwise either.

You might lose your job, disaster may strike your town or family, those closest to you may betray you.

Call it life, Murphy law, bad luck or whatever you want the labels don’t matter.

Your response does.

As the late Dr. Wayne Dyer said When you change the way you look at things the thing you look at change.

Are you aware of your surroundings and the people therein?

Now that due to our inner filter we DO NOT process all the information we are surrounded with.

This is not a motivational hype this is fact.

What is worse than “blindness” is willful blindness.

I hate to admit it myself but I to am guilty of this.

Be it the fact while in the early 90´s in my place wasnt exactly safe.

Aka one time we were running to shelters and one day as I was trying to get out just a few seconds before I could get my hand on the handle I felt a massive quake coming from the floor and walls.

Later I was told that the well just a few feet away from our neighbors shelter was blown to pieces.

That was around the age of five maybe even less.

The next years I was basically isolating myself from the people and events around me.

Note that this info is here as an example.

What I am saying here no matter the age or circumstances when such an event happens and

hits you from where you would least expect it sometimes you may want to comfort, to isolate or even to remove yourself from that experience altogether.

Is it betrayal, physical or Physical injury, an unexpected loss of something or someone you hold dear.

The point is that unexpected people or events will come knocking at your door ,

sometimes so bad it can short-circuit ones common sense,

makes you want to just hide in a closet,

make you grow bitter or vengeful ending in major health issues, lousy relationships, bad finances, etc.

And in those moments you may have few responses : fight, flight..or even worse, freeze.

In short the freeze response is kinda like stepping on the gas with full force with your handbrake on.

But that’s not the end.

The shift

Accepting the blindside is one thing but rising despite it is another.

To make the change or “shift” if you will it can take time and effort.

From my experience it is more like a tree you can watch it for days months and years without realizing any progress.

This can be deeply frustrating.

But all things worthwhile take their time as well.

You might want to read or listen to “Cant hurt me” by David Goggins to get a better idea about what I am talking about.

The first great advice I got is that you do something every day that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Sometimes you may even need an extra push in the right direction.

I’ve spend years searching for the one simple thing to take care of every problem in my life but failed to find anything.

You can learn from your mistakes, find a person or two you trust to watch your back, read books, go to sessions, webinars

or whatever your choice is. But you have to make the choice and put in the effort with ego out of the way.

You’re welcome to try yourself and do tell me which one has worked out better for you.

Paying attention

These award and embarasing moments that can last in some cases just a few seconds.

No matter how talented, experienced or good you are you will get a surprise package at your door.

If you can avoid it, wonderful, if not and it smashes you to the ground get up in any way you can as soon as possible or others will make sure you stay there.

Life is about consistency among other things, I’ve learned it the not so pretty way.

There’s a reason why in the army the drill instructors behave the way they do and that is to strengthen the ones who are in training so that when the real deal comes they don’t crumble or freeze at the first challenge.

Again, I’m talking that the people are trained to operate under pressure.

In life this to applies, because we may not control everything but we can choose how we respond in those vital moments.

And that matters.

“Steel” your mind

Sorry for the long break I was pretty beat down.

I do however want to hear your thoughts about this so comment below and share your thoughts Id like to hear them.

And whoever is on vacation I wish them a blast time.

And greets from Croatia,

Dario K.

12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos – a short review

https://amzn.to/2OqUJnu

Name: 12 rules for life-an antidote to chaos

Author: Jordan B. Peterson

Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd.

(Audiobook) read by author

Where to buy:Amazon.com

Formats:

Audible-FREE in trial month

Kindle 8,07€

Book Bundle 12,79€

Paperback 9,99€

Audio-CD 19,45€

All links provided in the description.

About the author

Jordan B. Peterson born in June in 1962 is a Canadian psychologist and a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto.

In Canada, he supposedly criticized the legislation for the use of transgender pronouns.

Some even called him a “transphobe” and he has some social justice warriors chasing him like a village mob chasing Frankenstein’s monster.

Yet after that, he went viral and he inspired millions with his enthusiasm and a quite unique look on life.

The book

12 rules for life – an antidote to chaos

I´ll try to keep it spoiler-free to the best of my ability and draw out a few notes to help you “paint” a clearer picture.

The book is divided into 12 rules each with a rich story.

Rule 1

On a neural level, it will change how people see you.

Youll get treated better, have better chances with finding a partner, increasing your serotonin level and you will be less likely to fall into the pit of substance abuse, getting cancer, heart disease, etc.

Rule 2

What I got here was that you determine your values and the direction you are heading so that you treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping. Hard?Yes. But having a vague idea, having a part of the plan in your head is better than none.

Rule 3

Check out who you hang out with. Are they pushing you to become better?

Do they make you smile and want the best for you?

If not then reconsider hanging out with them, as stated in the New Testament, by Jim Rohn and many others you become who you hang around with.

Rule 4

We are unique on one and multiple levels.

And what I got here is not to compare yourself with others but with who you were yesterday.

Let’s say you are in the gym and you don’t see progress by constantly looking at others but by looking at yourself.

Rule 5

This rule is about parenting skills.

Rule 6

Here the author suggests before we criticize the world that we should stop doing the things we know are wrong.

Rule 7

I liked this one, pursue meaning, not pleasure.

Peterson is opposed to being expedient.

He came to this conclusion by a longer analysis of Nietzsche, Dostojevski, the Bible and many more.

If there is no meaning to your life you can make one.

Rule 8

Be honest, cause dishonesty will always come back to you in one way or the other.

Rule 9

Here it’s about truly listening to others assuming they know something you don’t.

Don’t let yourself get in the way of attaining what can be vital information that can benefit you.

Rule 10

Be precise in your speech.

Let’s say that something is bothering you and you don’t go and speak to your doctor because of the fear of what it “might be”.

If you don’t know what it is you’ll assume the worst while in reality, it may be nothing at all.

Express it or it will come out as something far worse.

Rule 11

Let me say it like this.

At a young age, boys test the limits of their bikes, cars, skateboards as well as their own abilities as drivers, how much they can stay in control in a chaotic situation.

When they push against teachers, parents or any authority figure they push to see if there is any true authority that can be relied on in case of a catastrophe.

Weakness didn’t expel them from the classroom it was the strength.

Rule 12

Simple moments like petting a cat on the street may come from time to time if we pay attention.

Why? Its moments like that give both sides a smile, make a day brighter and give you a break from the everyday absurdity.

If you are interested in audiobooks you may consider subscribing to Audible. You may do so via the link bellow

If you want to sign up CLICK HERE.

Walking above your shadows

Who you were who you are and who you’re going to be are three different personas.

And one thing everyone has to master if he wants to move on in life is to rise above his/her past self which is embedded in his subconscious aka his/her shadow.

Therefore, the name walk above your shadow.

Feeding the wolf

It´s scary to look within, it´s difficult to embrace what shadows have been lurking on the inside for far too long and it´s necessary.

As in the old native American story about the two wolves, one is dark one is light,

Which one wins at the end the one your feed.

autumn wolves

Which wolf are you feeding? Which one is growing and which one is starving?

Or let me put it like this

what behavior, what thoughts, what unwelcome guests are you continually letting in?

Is your kid with the wrong crowd? Is your better half disrespecting or ignoring yours?

Do you have to fight for their attention all the time?

Are you doing your best at avoiding confrontations, not wanting to rattle the boat?

First, this is not some motivational hype speech, your don,t need motivation.

From my perspective its the same as nitro in a racing game, and with that nitro, you can either use it as an advantage or waste it by flying off the tracks or ramming a wall.

Now and then perhaps, but not all the time, otherwise you may use it as an escape mechanism aka an excuse.

The word here is consistency, and feeding the wolf means one thing and that is feeding, nurturing and growing a one or multiple behavioral habits, skills, etc.

Are you constantly beating yourself over a loss or a disappointment?

Or are you doing something each day ie. learning a new language, perfecting your communication or attitude?

Of the two examples above who do you think will be at the higher ground after a year, after 365 days?

Who will benefit more after a month or just a week?

Feeding the wolf is making a choice, but that alone is not enough.

Intention matters as well…

Intensions or pretensions

Intensions are the root, the cornerstone and the backbone in your actions, decisions, and plans.

Basically your character.

the only way forward

They are in everything we do and sometimes we are not even aware of them.

Or in some cases do not want to be aware, Regardless of understanding them may give one more resolution to deal with a certain issue, plan, jobs even relationships.

The newer word for them might be YOUR WHY.

We could do the same work right now but get different results because of them.

Let us say a guy whos been friends with a girl for a while suddenly has an emotional outburst confessing his undying love or something like that what we can see in tons of teen movies, and in the movies that nice guy gets the girl in the end.

In real life, that is not the case.

And it is not a good way to go. Let`s say the typical nice guy operates from a state of fear, of not being enough, low self-esteem, etc.

And then when he meets someone he likes he may take the “friend” approach because of fear of getting rejected.

What is the intention here? Well one of them may be to have her stay, not because of love but because of fear of being alone, of own insecurities, etc.

This “Nice guy Syndrome” goes both ways and Dr. Robert Glover goes into more detail about this in his book “No more Mr.Nice guy”.On the definition and the solution to it.

Another example would be the resentment the office worker faces when treated poorly by his peers.

Where on one hand he needs the job, has children to take care of and is willing to put up with everything just to make sure the little ones get something to eat and a chance for a better education, for a better life.

On the other hand, imagine the same situation just this time the worker is focused more on himself than on the child.

He/she works for stuff he/she doesn’t need for people who don’t like him/her because the selfish intentions are a priority, not the kid.

So we can see what kind of person was dealing with just by observing them.

As stated in Matthew 7:16 King James Version (KJV)

“Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns or figs of thistles?”

and in Matthew 7:18

” A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.”

Guard your attention

Humans are more complex than plants of course.

We can choose however what our “fruits” will be, where attention goes

energy also flows.

Maybe you have heard that your thoughts from your actions which form your habits and your habits will form your destiny.

What starts in the thought process with consistency and repetition WILL come true just as a seed becomes a tree.

Here attention comes in play. One of the most primary resources alongside time.

If misleading it can cost you dearly. Hanging out with a few “buddies” who just want a drink, two, ten or a favor from your while giving nothing in return, Consulting or comforting someone who you’re interested in when they had a fight with their lover and will eventually return to them, supporting a business partner who offers the same empty promises for months.

street sign possible

You could be sitting next to a pot of gold but you wouldn´t see it because you’re focused on your empty wallet.

This can be explained through the Reticular Activating System or RAS for short.

It is a bunch of nerves in our brain that filters unnecessary information so that the important ones come through.

It is why you hear your favorite song through a crowd of people when you really want a car and then start noticing it everywhere when you miss someone with all your heart and start seeing them everywhere.

Depending on your perspective aka beliefs RAS seeks out the information to validate them.

And as the subconscious RAS can be trained by “setting your intent” as some people call it, which is basically linking your subconscious thoughts to the conscious ones.

And as such, it can be viewed as a tool for growth.

If you care about love and kindness you will start seeing more of it because that is in your belief system and RAS has no other choice but to comply.

For this, it is vital to whom or what we give our attention, our time to. As I mentioned in the last post the more you hang around a depressed or deceitful person you will subconsciously form the same behavior they have.

Into the light

By “light” here I am talking about truth aka facing your current condition as it is. Something is better left alone, some people need to be let go and some paths are better not to be walked on.

What “shadows” or what flaws you may have a need to be addressed in the first place and then with or without support one has to go that mile.

In order to get rid off the disease, you need to acknowledge it not run from it.

No hacks or simple solutions are of much use if the ground is soiled with chemicals so will the fruit be.

It will still look good on the outside but the inside will be infested.

To cleanse it first you must cleanse the ground from which it grows.

To get rid of the issue in your business, in your relationship or in your friendships you have to acknowledge it, accept that it is there and if it is stuck for some reason learn to walk with it. Eventually, it will go away and something else will take its place, quit and it will be even harder to remove.

It’s an hourly, daily, monthly even yearly walk but it is one you have to and only you can make.

into the light

Last thoughts

This one has been on my mind for a while and honestly, a part of me didn’t want to say it but I have my reasons for doing so.

Character is a slow-grow process but it’s a rewarding one too. And I can’t say it out of the woods myself yet now I know I’m walking towards someplace better.

Well, this turned out to be longer than expected but I hope you liked it.

If you have any thoughts on the article please share them below.

Till next time

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Morality or Cowardice -Where is the line?

solitude

Hey , let me start out with a simple question.

Are you a nice person?

Whatever your answer maybe you may want to rethink it.

solitude

What is morality?

Morality derived from the Latin word “moralis” which means something like character, manner or proper behavior.

It is the differentiation of decisions, intentions and deeds (aka actions )between those that are distinguished between proper and improper ones.

Morality can mean a set of standards, rules and responsibilities,basically a way of life.

From a region, culture and religion it can be derived as a standard, a way of living or “the right path”.

It is often tied to “goodness” and “rightness”. That one thing which tells “right” from “wrong”.

In the old stories the authors glorified it to nowadays basically too high levels.

Who wouldn´t want to be a “good guy” in his own story?

One example is the statement of Christ about the “Golden rule” found in the New Testament, which says:

“One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself.”

In itself morality isn’t bad.

It does however get a bad rep cause of certain people.

Nietzsche commented on this as well.

Something like most moralist´s are cowards.

What does this mean? That every person that has morals is a coward? NO.

It is because “cowards” disguise their cowardice with the “mask” of morality, a LIE.

We all have these traits yet they are more developed in some people more than others.

It depends on the core of a person, their true intentions.

Before into the actions of others we must also not forget to look into our own…

Facing the truth

Cowardice can be seen as the lack of courage, saying no when you mean yes and vice versa, not doing the things you have to do, running away from responsibility, commitment…and the truth.

No one wants to be described as a coward. It reduces your social status among st peers and elders, as well among friends, family, business partners, your better half…

Not only does one shrink in others eyes to the point of nothingness in extreme cases.

It leaves a person vulnerable, weak-willed, resentful, bitter, spiteful or worse.

Unless broken this fear based cycle is a never ending source of suffering.

It´s fear running wild in one´s life , spreading like a wildfire and drowning like a flood.

If not addressed and treated properly it progresses like cancer to a point where recovery seems impossible.

Such a person tends to flee from a challenge, to cheat, lie and sabotage themselves as well as others.

Another issue is the stories they tell themselves, the person they pretend to be.

The mask they put on every day which is just a copping mechanism to relieve the constant building pressure because no one want´s to feel like this.

No one.

Not everyone in such state can help themselves as well,sometimes a “hand out” is OK, but not if they keep coming back asking for more each time while their condition worsens. If you do so you´re “inviting” that same fear into your house, into your soul.

There are more factors to consider of course but in the end the one that is treated needs to do something from their side as well.

Note that this is not written to point fingers at anyone .

It is written to address a problem.

Maybe you know someone who displays such behavior or you may suspect a similar behavior in yourself.

The remedy to all that ARE willing to turn the page is the truth and everything that comes with it.

Is it painful? Yes, but so are operations and recoveries of patients in critical stages.

There´s no way around it, no quick fixes, no “skipping the steps”.

Just know that accepting your truth, your reality doesn´t mean settling down with it.

It IS NOT set in stone therefore there is always something to look forward to.

It will hurt but regret and resentment, the “fruits” of fear will hurt even more.

Apply integrity

So how to escape from this mindset?

Well I haven´t found a way out but a way through.

As stated in Matthew 7:13 that we should enter the narrow gate.

For wide and easy is the way that leads to destruction.

This is true in life.

Countless examples still show it today.

Consistency is key here, the more often you do something the better you become at it, be it good or bad.

What kind of life you have is also determined by the things you do or don’t do on a consistent basis.

Integrity aka saying what you mean and meaning what you say or Biblical speaking

“Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ Anything more comes from the evil one.

Matthew 5:37″

The definition is simple but applying it can be hard for some more than others.

For example, saying yes to that one more drink when you want to quit,

saying no to your spouse or loved one when you have an addiction or health problem and they wish to help,

saying yes to that party when your child is sick at home and you honestly just wanna stay and take care it.

These are only some examples of the lack of integrity and courage.

Often we know what we should do on some level but we talk ourselves out of it.

So the key to change is truth.

You gotta be honest with yourself and the surrounding ones.

You gotta be honest about the things you need to give up and the people you need to let go.

Integrity ,in short does not come from a place of fear or weakness,

but of strength.

It’s when your no means no, and your yes means yes.

When you know what you value and you´re willing and able to defend it at all cost.

It doesn´t mean your harmless or weak either but we´ll discuss that in the next post.

Go all the way

Again, you have to see life as a marathon, a campaign.

A daily, weekly, monthly, yearly ongoing march.

As in nature when something stop growing or developing it starts dying.

Be it a community, marriage or any kind of vow you make, know that it is in consistency that lies the answer.

The moment you start to get sloppy or lazy on your path that’s when you start planting the seeds of mediocrity.

Last thoughts

Thats it from me. Hoped you liked this post.

If you have any thoughts or opinions on this article please leave your comments below.

PS

If somebody has saw his- or herself here and is thinking this is a “waste of time” or “what BS”.

I understand, for I was is a similar position as well, just sick of motivational

and positive nonsense but even sicker from staying in the same miserable mind, job and life.

When you come to a point of “enough is enough” you´ll understand this better.

Till next time.

Give yourself a chance

Goalseeker

Life can bring you down.

Chase you off where you don´t want to go.

Put you in bondage to people and event´s that may or may not have happened.

…or may never happen.

But,

Regardless off what you think or believe there is more for you.

Beware of the depths

Here I´m reffering to our inner depths.

You, me, we all have them.

The struggles, experiences, heart rob´s and heartbreaks are of of many factor of the equation in which we are the result.

The past has left us with a number of habits, belief´s and skill´s that may or may not be to our benefit.

We may not even be aware of them.

If confronted with them we may often dismiss them because of our beliefs.

If you believe you are not good enough you won´t be.

If you believe you´re useless you will be. the world is in your hands

The Bible says, As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.

Is it because of what people or events have done to you?

Or what you have been telling yourself that has been done unto you?

No matter who or what confronts you with the reality of the situation.

You may lash out on them,

Degrade, belittle or render them useless.

Be it your family, friends or someone you look up to.

And the fact that we have this little mechanism called ego integrated within our system

doesn´t make it easier.

I´m not demonizing it.

What I am saying if it goes out of control It WILL cause you only more problems.

This goes for beliefs and basically all of our internal “systems”.

For example,

If there is an imbalance in your body it will show in your health.

The same goes for your mental health.

OCD,depression,anxiety,panic attacks…

These kinds of behaviors may lay dormant for years with us not even be aware of it.

These kinds of moments and event will eventually repeat themselves

Some things are unavoidable.

The good thing?

No human behavior is set in stone.

If you don´t believe me, that´s ok, it will change with time.

Just ask yourself are the thoughts you think right now yours or did you pick them up along the way?

Mirror

You probably heard of the late Jim Rohn and one of his famous quotes,

“You are in average the 5 people you surround yourself on a daily basis”?

There is a scientific fact to this called Mirror neurons

Meaning? enigma

A Mirror neuron is a neuron that activates both when a one acts and when the one observes the same action performed by another.

So the neuron reflects or “mirror´s” the behavior of the other, as though the observer were acting itself .

They have been observed in animals as well as humans.

Meaning that we reflect our surroundings or precisely said other people.

If you are long enough around them you will basically adopt some same behavioral patterns.

Just look at your daily life and see it for yourself

Lets say If one of your family members was a smoker, drinker, abuser or whatever the case may be there´s a chance that you may become one as well.

But let me say it again It IS NOT set in stone.

Even if you recognize such behaviors in yourself there are solutions to it.

Barriers

Now if you have recognized such behaviors in yourself,good job, but its not over yet.

It is one thing to recognize such behaviors, another one is overcoming them.

Have you ever tried to get better at your job, diet or in your relationships but continuously kept failing at it?

Do you suffer from depression, panic attacks, bad habits or limiting beliefs that “set your skies gray”?

Are you taking more and more prescription pills to get through the day?

Why?

There is a term for this called the “Terror barrier”.

You can also find more information on it at the Proctor Gallagher institute.

The thing is since our brains are designed to “keep us safe” and if you try to move beyond that point,

From that which is familiar, even when that is your own inner prison where you spent most of your time at,

The mind will put up walls to try to keep you from getting to the unfamiliar, “from getting hurt”.

Now that most of our fear´s and habit´s we are TAUGHT.

shackled

The thought taught you´re not good enough, that you´ll never be someone or achieve anithing,

or the fear of taking risks, of standing up for yourself, of “not to rattle the boat”…

I didn´t believe it myself a year ago but I was proven wrong.

And while some behaviors can come from the body as well since it is connected to the mind and can be affected by some medication.

And I´m not trying to say here that all medication is bad, they have their good and bad parts as well.

If they are prescribed by someone who knows what he is doing.

Just note that they are here to merely ASSIST you in getting better not solve all your problems.

It is not a substitute for therapy, or better said the right therapy for you, but it can help to a point.

Let´s move on…

Into the process

Note that change doesn’t come from quick fix

If you think that a quick fix will give you a long-lasting result

that’s like buying the mustard seed and expecting you have the processed and done sauce in a glass tube the same second in your hands.

No.

As Rome wasn´t built in a day it didn´t fall in one day either.

Falling apart is a process and so is progress.

And it is proven again and again to be true and possible.

Is there a one for all miracle drug for every problem?

Nope unless you count excuses.

A good life is made from a lot of small decisions that compound over time.

Decisions on a yearly, monthly,daily even hourly basis.

No new action, belief, habit or mindset comes naturally until it is repeated so often it becomes a part of you.

Just as any ill-state of body and mind is grown over time the same goes for other beliefs as well.

Saying NO, discipline to get things done, the courage, the confidence lies outside of your current mindset.

It seemed surreal to me as well, even ridiculous, but there is a point where everyone comes where enough is enough.

There was not one but many small moments that helped me make the change.

Many experiences that slowly linked to one another and regardless good or bad these experiences are the ones that make you.

In the end it is you that has to make the steps and as you pass the first barrier there may come other´s .

They may become tougher but so will you if you keep going.

As for the end looking the lives I saw even my own,

from where I was to where I am now, I know and importantly believe that something better is possible.

Your life is a gift, make a wish

And you deserve to give yourself a chance.

Conclusion

Hope you liked my post. It´s been on my mind for a long time only now I decided to speak up.

There is more to it than this but it would be far too long.

Comment bellow your thoughts and do tell me what you think.

Till next time Dario K.

About me

Hello Im Dario and welcome to Goalseeker87.

Who I am

Hy, I am Dario K., 32 yrs old,

Someone who is “going through the process” just like all of us…

Basically I´m just a regular guy with a different view on life

and number of interests.

Such as helping others.

My story

As mentioned I am here to help.

After a decade or so of grief, depression, anxiety, abuse,

Failed buisness and personal relationships,

I have found a better way to live and grow.

And this is my way of giving something back.

Why check out this site?

This site is about self-help and self-development.

So will the content be all around this topic.

To motivate, inspire and move you into taking action.

If you have ay questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be happy to help you out.

Have a good day,

Dario K.

goalseeker87.com