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Hey , let me start out with a simple question.
Are you a nice person?
Whatever your answer maybe you may want to rethink it.
What is morality?
Morality derived from the Latin word “moralis” which means something like character, manner or proper behavior.
It is the differentiation of decisions, intentions and deeds (aka actions )between those that are distinguished between proper and improper ones.
Morality can mean a set of standards, rules and responsibilities,basically a way of life.
From a region, culture and religion it can be derived as a standard, a way of living or “the right path”.
It is often tied to “goodness” and “rightness”. That one thing which tells “right” from “wrong”.
In the old stories the authors glorified it to nowadays basically too high levels.
Who wouldn´t want to be a “good guy” in his own story?
One example is the statement of Christ about the “Golden rule” found in the New Testament, which says:
“One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself.”
In itself morality isn’t bad.
It does however get a bad rep cause of certain people.
Nietzsche commented on this as well.
Something like most moralist´s are cowards.
What does this mean? That every person that has morals is a coward? NO.
It is because “cowards” disguise their cowardice with the “mask” of morality, a LIE.
We all have these traits yet they are more developed in some people more than others.
It depends on the core of a person, their true intentions.
Before into the actions of others we must also not forget to look into our own…
Facing the truth
Cowardice can be seen as the lack of courage, saying no when you mean yes and vice versa, not doing the things you have to do, running away from responsibility, commitment…and the truth.
No one wants to be described as a coward. It reduces your social status among st peers and elders, as well among friends, family, business partners, your better half…
Not only does one shrink in others eyes to the point of nothingness in extreme cases.
It leaves a person vulnerable, weak-willed, resentful, bitter, spiteful or worse.
Unless broken this fear based cycle is a never ending source of suffering.
It´s fear running wild in one´s life , spreading like a wildfire and drowning like a flood.
If not addressed and treated properly it progresses like cancer to a point where recovery seems impossible.
Such a person tends to flee from a challenge, to cheat, lie and sabotage themselves as well as others.
Another issue is the stories they tell themselves, the person they pretend to be.
The mask they put on every day which is just a copping mechanism to relieve the constant building pressure because no one want´s to feel like this.
Not everyone in such state can help themselves as well,sometimes a “hand out” is OK, but not if they keep coming back asking for more each time while their condition worsens. If you do so you´re “inviting” that same fear into your house, into your soul.
There are more factors to consider of course but in the end the one that is treated needs to do something from their side as well.
Note that this is not written to point fingers at anyone .
It is written to address a problem.
Maybe you know someone who displays such behavior or you may suspect a similar behavior in yourself.
The remedy to all that ARE willing to turn the page is the truth and everything that comes with it.
Is it painful? Yes, but so are operations and recoveries of patients in critical stages.
There´s no way around it, no quick fixes, no “skipping the steps”.
Just know that accepting your truth, your reality doesn´t mean settling down with it.
It IS NOT set in stone therefore there is always something to look forward to.
It will hurt but regret and resentment, the “fruits” of fear will hurt even more.
So how to escape from this mindset?
Well I haven´t found a way out but a way through.
As stated in Matthew 7:13 that we should enter the narrow gate.
For wide and easy is the way that leads to destruction.
This is true in life.
Countless examples still show it today.
Consistency is key here, the more often you do something the better you become at it, be it good or bad.
What kind of life you have is also determined by the things you do or don’t do on a consistent basis.
Integrity aka saying what you mean and meaning what you say or Biblical speaking
“Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ Anything more comes from the evil one.
The definition is simple but applying it can be hard for some more than others.
For example, saying yes to that one more drink when you want to quit,
saying no to your spouse or loved one when you have an addiction or health problem and they wish to help,
saying yes to that party when your child is sick at home and you honestly just wanna stay and take care it.
These are only some examples of the lack of integrity and courage.
Often we know what we should do on some level but we talk ourselves out of it.
So the key to change is truth.
You gotta be honest with yourself and the surrounding ones.
You gotta be honest about the things you need to give up and the people you need to let go.
Integrity ,in short does not come from a place of fear or weakness,
but of strength.
It’s when your no means no, and your yes means yes.
When you know what you value and you´re willing and able to defend it at all cost.
It doesn´t mean your harmless or weak either but we´ll discuss that in the next post.
Go all the way
Again, you have to see life as a marathon, a campaign.
A daily, weekly, monthly, yearly ongoing march.
As in nature when something stop growing or developing it starts dying.
Be it a community, marriage or any kind of vow you make, know that it is in consistency that lies the answer.
The moment you start to get sloppy or lazy on your path that’s when you start planting the seeds of mediocrity.
Thats it from me. Hoped you liked this post.
If you have any thoughts or opinions on this article please leave your comments below.
If somebody has saw his- or herself here and is thinking this is a “waste of time” or “what BS”.
I understand, for I was is a similar position as well, just sick of motivational
and positive nonsense but even sicker from staying in the same miserable mind, job and life.
When you come to a point of “enough is enough” you´ll understand this better.
Till next time.
Life can bring you down.
Chase you off where you don´t want to go.
Put you in bondage to people and event´s that may or may not have happened.
…or may never happen.
Regardless off what you think or believe there is more for you.
Beware of the depths
Here I´m reffering to our inner depths.
You, me, we all have them.
The struggles, experiences, heart rob´s and heartbreaks are of of many factor of the equation in which we are the result.
The past has left us with a number of habits, belief´s and skill´s that may or may not be to our benefit.
We may not even be aware of them.
If confronted with them we may often dismiss them because of our beliefs.
If you believe you are not good enough you won´t be.
If you believe you´re useless you will be.
The Bible says, As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.
Is it because of what people or events have done to you?
Or what you have been telling yourself that has been done unto you?
No matter who or what confronts you with the reality of the situation.
You may lash out on them,
Degrade, belittle or render them useless.
Be it your family, friends or someone you look up to.
And the fact that we have this little mechanism called ego integrated within our system
doesn´t make it easier.
I´m not demonizing it.
What I am saying if it goes out of control It WILL cause you only more problems.
This goes for beliefs and basically all of our internal “systems”.
If there is an imbalance in your body it will show in your health.
The same goes for your mental health.
These kinds of behaviors may lay dormant for years with us not even be aware of it.
These kinds of moments and event will eventually repeat themselves
Some things are unavoidable.
The good thing?
No human behavior is set in stone.
If you don´t believe me, that´s ok, it will change with time.
Just ask yourself are the thoughts you think right now yours or did you pick them up along the way?
You probably heard of the late Jim Rohn and one of his famous quotes,
“You are in average the 5 people you surround yourself on a daily basis”?
There is a scientific fact to this called Mirror neurons
A Mirror neuron is a neuron that activates both when a one acts and when the one observes the same action performed by another.
So the neuron reflects or “mirror´s” the behavior of the other, as though the observer were acting itself .
They have been observed in animals as well as humans.
Meaning that we reflect our surroundings or precisely said other people.
If you are long enough around them you will basically adopt some same behavioral patterns.
Just look at your daily life and see it for yourself
Lets say If one of your family members was a smoker, drinker, abuser or whatever the case may be there´s a chance that you may become one as well.
But let me say it again It IS NOT set in stone.
Even if you recognize such behaviors in yourself there are solutions to it.
Now if you have recognized such behaviors in yourself,good job, but its not over yet.
It is one thing to recognize such behaviors, another one is overcoming them.
Have you ever tried to get better at your job, diet or in your relationships but continuously kept failing at it?
Do you suffer from depression, panic attacks, bad habits or limiting beliefs that “set your skies gray”?
Are you taking more and more prescription pills to get through the day?
There is a term for this called the “Terror barrier”.
You can also find more information on it at the Proctor Gallagher institute.
The thing is since our brains are designed to “keep us safe” and if you try to move beyond that point,
From that which is familiar, even when that is your own inner prison where you spent most of your time at,
The mind will put up walls to try to keep you from getting to the unfamiliar, “from getting hurt”.
Now that most of our fear´s and habit´s we are TAUGHT.
The thought taught you´re not good enough, that you´ll never be someone or achieve anithing,
or the fear of taking risks, of standing up for yourself, of “not to rattle the boat”…
I didn´t believe it myself a year ago but I was proven wrong.
And while some behaviors can come from the body as well since it is connected to the mind and can be affected by some medication.
And I´m not trying to say here that all medication is bad, they have their good and bad parts as well.
If they are prescribed by someone who knows what he is doing.
Just note that they are here to merely ASSIST you in getting better not solve all your problems.
It is not a substitute for therapy, or better said the right therapy for you, but it can help to a point.
Let´s move on…
Into the process
Note that change doesn’t come from quick fix
If you think that a quick fix will give you a long-lasting result
that’s like buying the mustard seed and expecting you have the processed and done sauce in a glass tube the same second in your hands.
As Rome wasn´t built in a day it didn´t fall in one day either.
Falling apart is a process and so is progress.
And it is proven again and again to be true and possible.
Is there a one for all miracle drug for every problem?
Nope unless you count excuses.
A good life is made from a lot of small decisions that compound over time.
Decisions on a yearly, monthly,daily even hourly basis.
No new action, belief, habit or mindset comes naturally until it is repeated so often it becomes a part of you.
Just as any ill-state of body and mind is grown over time the same goes for other beliefs as well.
Saying NO, discipline to get things done, the courage, the confidence lies outside of your current mindset.
It seemed surreal to me as well, even ridiculous, but there is a point where everyone comes where enough is enough.
There was not one but many small moments that helped me make the change.
Many experiences that slowly linked to one another and regardless good or bad these experiences are the ones that make you.
In the end it is you that has to make the steps and as you pass the first barrier there may come other´s .
They may become tougher but so will you if you keep going.
As for the end looking the lives I saw even my own,
from where I was to where I am now, I know and importantly believe that something better is possible.
Your life is a gift,
And you deserve to give yourself a chance.
Hope you liked my post. It´s been on my mind for a long time only now I decided to speak up.
There is more to it than this but it would be far too long.
Comment bellow your thoughts and do tell me what you think.
Till next time Dario K.
Hello Im Dario and welcome to Goalseeker87.
Who I am
Hy, I am Dario K., 32 yrs old,
Someone who is “going through the process” just like all of us…
Basically I´m just a regular guy with a different view on life
and number of interests.
Such as helping others.
As mentioned I am here to help.
After a decade or so of grief, depression, anxiety, abuse,
Failed buisness and personal relationships,
I have found a better way to live and grow.
And this is my way of giving something back.
Why check out this site?
This site is about self-help and self-development.
So will the content be all around this topic.
To motivate, inspire and move you into taking action.
If you have ay questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be happy to help you out.
Have a good day,